Boys Will [Not] be Boys
- Victoria
- Nov 20, 2018
- 3 min read
Marry Wollstonecraft wrote, “if the pure flame of patriotism have reached [women’s]bosoms, they should labour to improve the morals of their fellow-citizens, by teaching men, not only to respect modesty in women, but to acquire it themselves, as the only way to merit their esteem.” A modern version of this is often heard in our own rhetoric surrounding sexual assault, especially with the rise of the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements. Our version of this goes: We shouldn’t have to tell women and little girls to be covering up, men and boys should be taught to respect females and not look.
The ideas of feminist Philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft should be more widely called upon in such strong feminist movements. Her voice is important, and it seems her ideas haven’t changed much in the last 250 years. As mentioned, with the increased activism against sexual harassment and assault, many modern voices themselves have said that we need to be teaching boys and men to respect women more, and that showing skin is not an invitation. This is an important shift in discourse. Throughout centuries, girls have been taught how to dress, speak, and act around men. In modern times, it has not changed. As Wollstonecraft points out, these male-centric views are not just deeply ingrained in custom, they are institutionalized, and as far as we’ve come in modern times we still have a long way to go.
250 years after Mary Wollstonecraft wrote about the deep-rooted problems in society’s male-centric customs, they are still there. How to dress, speak, and act around men is still something parents teach their little girls from a young age to this day. In discourse surrounding sexual assault there has been a long-standing tradition to blame women for dressing provocatively, for ‘asking for it’. Blaming women for provoking men is not merely ingrained in custom, it is institutionalized in things like school dress codes and the lack of men prosecuted for sexual assault. However, we shouldn’t have to run away and create girl-only safe spaces away from deep-rooted male-centric custom. The problem is exactly the one that Mary Wollstonecraft points out in the earlier quote, boys and men should be taught to respect women; they should be taught that it’s not okay to look up a girl’s skirt, it is not okay to force a woman to perform sexual acts, and no matter how a female dresses, it is never an invitation for a male to force himself on her.
The uproar in #TimesUp and #MeToo movements, however, bring hope. Although there have been many feminist philosophers, who in some cases were quite known in their time, social media has allowed female voices all around the world to ban together and demand to be heard. It has allowed women’s marches to be organized all around the world, it has allowed for women to speak out against sexual assault, for women to speak out about the problems in society, the problems in our rhetoric, and to speak out about the institutionalization of these male-centric views that have been deep-seated in our custom over a millennium.
The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements allow the ideas of philosophers such as Mary Wollstonecraft to become a part of mainstream discourse. They allow more people to talk about the fact that it is not girls who should be taught to wear longer skirts, but boys should be taught not to look up skirts. Instead of telling little girls that when a boy is mean to them or hurts them it’s a sign that they like the girls, they should be taught to not engage with boys like that, and boys should be taught that it is never okay to hurt a girl. Let’s shift what the children of the future are taught – violence is not a sign of affection, and boys should respect all their peers, including the girls, just as girls should.
‘Boys will be boys’ no longer suffices as an excuse or explanation for the inappropriate behaviour little boys display because of custom. Perhaps now we can finally begin to not only recognize that these male-centric customs of centuries past still underlie society, but to plant the seeds of new custom to continue for the next millennium where it is not the women’s fault, #BoysWillNOTBeBoys!
For More:
Sources:
Wollstonecraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Edited by Phillip Barnard and
Stephen Shapiro, Hackett Publishing Company, 2013.
Astell, Mary. A Serious Proposal to the Ladies. 1964.
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